Bill Murray stars as Bob Wiley in the 1991 comedy What About Bob? He is a neurotic, anxious man who seeks out the help of Dr. Bob Marvin, an ambitious and egotistical therapist played by Richard Dreyfuss.
Dr. Marvin wants his name to become the next Dr. Spock, a psychologist with a worldwide reputation. He believes that his newly published book, Baby Steps is the key to fame and fortune.
Bob's numerous psychological problems are discussed with Dr. Marvin. Dr. Marvin then gives Bob a book called Baby Steps. Bob adopts the Baby Steps Philosophy and takes literal and figurative steps out of Dr. Marvin’s office. Bob's comedic antics are heightened when he crashes Dr. Marvin and his family's vacation.
While What About Bob? While the film pokes fun at therapy by using the phrase "baby steps", it captures an idea that may sound cliche, but is nonetheless true: Small actions taken consistently are the most effective ways to make big changes to our lives.
You should know that
Kaizen.
Little strokes fell great oaks.
Pound the rock.
Even though I know that the best way to change is through small steps, I often struggle with taking them.
You've probably all experienced something similar.
Today's article will explore why we hesitate to take small steps and how we can embrace them.
Why We Stop Taking BabySteps to Change
Two main reasons are why we often hesitate to take baby-steps towards a goal.
The "This Makes me Feel Like a Dumb Baby" or "Sense of Inadequacy" Effect
We may be reluctant to make small changes because we feel insecure.
In his book, How We Change (And 10 Reasons Why we Don't), psychologist Dr. Ross Ellenhorn discusses the humiliation of baby steps. Ellenhorn says that taking small steps can be demoralizing because they remind us how far we are from our desired goal. Each baby step may feel like a mini disappointment that emphasizes the work still needed to reach our goals, amplifying feelings of inadequacy. You'll have to face the reality that you are not where you would like to be if you keep taking baby steps.
We stop taking baby steps altogether to avoid the mini-deafness that comes with them. We avoid taking baby steps because they make us feel bad.
This is something I've seen in my life.
I tend to over-analyze things. I can be Eeyore like because of my negativity bias. Since I didn't like this, I have tried to control my Eeyore tendencies for the majority of my adulthood.
Cognitive behavioral therapists suggest that you catch yourself catastrophizing and then spend a few minutes questioning the assumptions that contribute to your negative mood.
But I have a hard time putting it into regular practice. Why? Why? It makes me stupid to have to constantly question my overly pessimistic, erroneous assumptions. It reminds me of my melancholic mindset every time I question my pessimistic view.
This is the inner dialogue I have when I begin to question my negative assumptions, and am grumpy.
Look at how stupid I am. I have to look at this list of questions and see if my negative bias is accurate or not. I feel stupid, because the answers to these questions are usually that my assumptions have been distorted. Others I know do not have to. Why am I doing this? "Oh yeah, my brain is damaged."
I spiral into doomsday and despair. I feel bad for feeling bad because I have taken the baby step to question my cognitive distortions.
The baby step of re-examining my distorted view makes me feel bad.
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